Matters of the heart: My wife is an abuser, I’m depressed…

It is common for women to tell their stories of abuse by their husbands but rare for men in similar situation to tell their own stories, but I am tired, depressed, suicidal and I think I should just tell my story.

I got married four years ago at the age of 32, six years after graduating from the University. Employment didn’t come immediately, but I was able to put some money together and start a little poultry business.

My business boomed as fate would have it and I also got a well paying job. I decided to marry and I married this lady six months after I met her.

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Two years into the marriage, I lost everything. Everything. My job, my business and all my savings gradually went…

For two years, I have tried to get another job to no avail, I couldn’t sit idle, so I did every menial job I could find. Name that menial job, I have done it.

Then I saw my wife, the real her.

On days there is nothing for me to attend to on the site, my wife makes sure I am never idle. She deliberately litters the house and reminds me that the house will not clean itself, meaning I should clean it up.

She makes me wash the dishes, then graduated to making me the house cook. I bathe our two kids, do the laundry and every house chore.

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On days when there is a job waiting for me outside, I still return home to most of the chores. According to her, she is the breadwinner she can’t also be the slave, so I should choose one…

For a very long time, I did not complain, I saw reasons with her, even respected her until she became really abusive.

She accompanies every errand with an insult, she blasts me if I add meat to my food, she wakes me with slaps as if it is a taboo to sleep. She curses me at will, calls me lazy!

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I told her to let me take the kids to my family so she wouldn’t have to spend her money, she refused…

I travelled to stay with my brother, she said I wanted to kill her with too much stress, working and taking care of the kids.

Staying under the same roof with her is hell, I cannot steal and I still haven’t found a job! When I say ‘No’ to an errand, no food for me!

The last time we related well, I was still with cash…

Depression is setting in…

 

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