Matters of the heart: I proposed to a lady and confessed I’m not in love with her… Is that wrong?

It seems ladies really love to be lied to despite their many pretences of wanting the total truth.

I am someone who has experienced love only once in all my 37 years of existence… I loved a girl about a decade ago and I still have emotional and physical scars from the heartbreak I suffered.

Since then, even though I respect women, I still steer clear of any kind of emotional attachment. My sanity means so much to me.

I have dated a number of ladies since then, I treated them well but not once have I used the word ‘love’ with any woman.

Marriage is necessary to  me, I always knew I would settle down with a woman and have Kids some day… I am ready at 37.

Now, there is this nice lady I have been with for seven months, my longest duration in a relationship since my tragic love story. She is nice, from a good home, the best so far, loves to cook, and I believe she would be a good wife even though I never ever mentioned love to her.

I finally made the move, I proposed to her and she was momentarily startled… she looked at me and I think I saw her guards drop, open devotion and naked love all over her face!

“You love me? ” she asked me with a tiny voice and I couldn’t bring myself to lie to her… I said “No” and she rejected my proposal.

Is love mandatory… I think compatibility should matter.

Should I have lied to her? I’m confused, I’m not sure I’d find a better woman but I’m not sure I’m in love either…

How can I fix this?  Do I need a psychologist? Please I need honest advises…

Thank you.

Sam

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