It is common for women to tell their stories of abuse by their husbands but rare for men in similar situation to tell their own stories, but I am tired, depressed, suicidal and I think I should just tell my story.
I got married four years ago at the age of 32, six years after graduating. Employment didn’t come immediately, but I was able to put some money together and start a little business.
My business boomed as fate would have it and I also got a well paying job. I decided to marry and I married this lady six months after I met her.
Two years into the marriage, I lost everything. Everything.
My job, my business and all my savings gradually went…
For two years, I have tried to get another job to no avail, I couldn’t sit idle, so I did every menial job I could find. Name that menial job, I have done it.
Then I saw my wife, the real her.
On days when there is nothing for me to attend to on the site, my wife makes sure I am never idle. She deliberately litters the house and reminds me that the house will not clean itself, meaning I should clean it up.
She makes me wash the dishes, then graduated to making me the house cook. I bathe our two kids, do the laundry and every house chore.
On days when there is a job waiting for me outside, I still return home to most of the chores. According to her, she is the breadwinner she can’t also be the slave, so I should choose one…
For a very long time, I did not complain, I saw reasons with her, even respected her until she became really abusive.
She accompanies every errand with an insult, she blasts me if I add meat to my food, she wakes me up with slaps. She curses me at will.
I told her to let me take the kids to my family so she wouldn’t have to spend her money, she refused… I travelled to stay with my brother, she said I wanted to kill her with too much stress, working and taking care of the kids. She called one day to say our first child had died! I rushed back, it was a lie!
Staying under the same roof with her is hell, I cannot steal and I still haven’t found a job! When I say ‘No’ to an errand, no food for me! I can’t remember the last time we related well.
I am tired.