I would like to take a look at what could possibly be going on in his mind if he takes a really long time to contact you. 1. Hi V, so I would suggests that you reach out at day 30 since you were getting along well. Updated. I am trying so so hard to push past my urges not to message him. I think he follows my posts but never reaches out. You know, how breakups are hard on everyone involved. We did not communicate well at all or I feel would could have recovered. Let him decide if he wants to be with you. Someone will give you the experiences you crave and make you happy. Hope you get better soon. So, they are probably going to be thinking of the whole no contact experience as a game. I decided to walk away coz I felt i was being taken for granted. The first person to reach out loses the game and they will refuse to lose that game. Just think of it like an addictionthey are using us and they are the only ones who can change that behaviour. Or maybe for him is over? They prevent you from moving on. Thats when they improve their perceptions of their exes and oftentimes even interact with them. Me and my ex were only together 2 and a half months and it may sound stupid to some people I get that, but in that time Ive never felt such a strong connection with someone as I did with her, it felt like we had known each other years. However, his pride is telling him not to do it. My ex texted . I said ok. And I left again. Here's the upside to her unfriending you. Hai Julian.. follow the no contact rule for urself Not to get her back Work on urself Give time for yourself to heal The first few weeks may be torturous.. Then all of a sudden after talking normal for 5 days she seemed cold again, I questioned it, said I was confused one minute she is talking the next she isnt, she said she found it stange I told her fuck you and had a problem with remembering things, I said I had apologised for that and it was 2 weeks ago, she said she didnt want to accept the apology she always accepted things in the past with exs she didnt want to accept and it made her sick. You agonize and fret about what your ex is thinking and feeling at that moment of no contact. He suddenly flared up and told me he does not want to have anything to do with me and he has blocked me on all social media platforms. Taking his or her focus off you and putting it on something or someone else would allow your ex to distance himself or herself from issues that created a lot of negative emotions. It doesnt matter if he blew your phone up with text messages during NC or if he completely ignored you as you were ignoring him. Following the no contact rule with you may be their way of protecting themselves, or they could be using it to show their displeasure with you. The truth is that he doesnt really need to contact you. Gojira_Kan 3 yr. ago. Well, if the two of you just have this never ending no contact battle with one another then nothing is going to happen that could help you two reunite. I am going to assume that a large number of the readers of this guide are currently in the middle of their no contact period. We had few text in the first 10 day then I have been silent for the last. What is in your control, however, are the mistakes you make after the breakup. Lets say that you decide that you want to embark on the 30 day no contact period. The no contact rule is meant to tap into that loss and cause an ex boyfriend to contact you but is that the true purpose of the no contact rule? Recently I called him during the day but he didnt pick and so I decided to send him a message enquiring why he was not picking my calls. You had no say in the matter. But also talked about how he should have made more effort. For example: - You were distant and did not successfully communicate with your ex Which is fine. In y case both damaged by past relationship and on top 2years go I lost my daughter. She said thankyou we were laying in bed at this time and she started to kiss me the first time she had all day, I then stupidly thought to try to initiate sex with her as I thought she was kissing me so why not see, she said is that all I want and is that the only reason I stayed, it wasnt at all, but I asked her why she had been avoiding it as we hadnt had sex in 2 weeks, she had told me previously how important it was to her in a relationship. We spoke the following Tuesday for an hour. Its hard not hearing off someone you went from being best friends with to on/off with, back to friends then to not talking. She's telling you that she wanted to stay but it hurt her to do so and her unfriending you is her taki. If he or she does see this side of you, your ex is going to avoid you like the plague. Well, like I explained above. Unfortunately, there is no right way to stay in your exs life and win them over. This means your ex will think about you more during no contact if things dont go according to plan. Prevents you from seeing what he's up to because sometimes you really don't want to know. youve never dated anyone as good as your ex. And only gave a little time for me. Its just the way it works. For now, just hit "unfollow" not "unfriend" so you're not tormented by his Facebook updates. You dont like the way romantic rejection feels, so you want to once again feel the way you felt when you were with your ex. Try to behave in line with confidence and high moral values as your ex doesnt want to see that youre broken-hearted and uncertain about your abilities and worth as a person. Mistake #1) Telling your ex you're going to go "No Contact". I want you to think about something for a moment. I thought about it and I wanted to give her a second chance but she now wants time as well apparently because of unfairly I treated her. Some mistakes that will complicate things for you and make your ex want to move on more than ever before are: If you want your ex to forget about you quickly, theres no better way to go about this than to make your ex feel a lot of unwanted emotions. Doesnt have socials. Do that by asking your ex why he or she reached out and responding appropriately. I did not wanted really get committed too soon in a relationship and would have preferred to take my time too. I just dont know why he keeps calling and at this point Im worried that if I talk to him I will lose control of my emotions and would have to start back over again if he decides to not want to be in a relationship and just wants to be friends, which Im not interested in since he did play a father figure role with my daughter and I just dont want to confuse her. If youre worried your ex will forget about you and scared your ex will find someone else, you need to know that what youre apprehensive about is much less important than what has already happened (the breakup). Does this mean that the no contact failed? Thks, Hi, in a relationship for just less than I year. Ailie, I would suggest that you go a full 45 days NC and when he does come back that you explain this is the last time you are willing to make things work and if he leaves again you are happy to start moving on with your life. This is me taking responsibility for not explaining the no contact rule as thoroughly as I should have. So, there is no use getting all depressed over a strategy that is literally at its beginning. In other words, in that massive guide I actually recommend that you are the first one to make contact with your ex after the no contact period. This is the time to work on yourself:Mentally, physically and emotionally. She became sick, maybe of too much stress doing it. I mean, I already compromise a lot of things for our relationship like I refused a job offer to work in another country just to stay near for her. I cant get my head around the sudden change! When someone asks why my ex blocked me, then this may refer to a blockade in front of you everywhere. What do you think I told women to do after no contact? 10 Reasons Why My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook There are no way he clicked the unfriend tab out of boredom. There's no such thing as an altruistic . The best thing you can do is to move on. And never start off with the I Would An Ex Like This Ever Consider A Reconciliation? They may not think about them as strongly and frequently as you think about your ex (especially right after the breakup), but they certainly dont erase dumpees from their memory. I disagreed of course since I am worried it could affect her health again. It really depends on what is going on in your exs life and Isuppose I could say maybe 2 months for each phase. I will keep applying the no conctac rule. End the conversation abruptly but politely. Her last post was about our dogs (4 years) birthday, but she broke up with us 4 months ago and is no longer part of our dogs life.so I am very confused since it has now been 7-days since we have not spoke. My last act of love for you Alison is to leave you be as you said you wanted to be. she had met all my family and me the same with her with the family she has here!! "I'm in shock! This guide is going to cover things like: By the time you finish this guide I want you to sit back and think to yourself: That was the most insightful guide on the no contact rule that I have ever read.. In that case, one needs to adjust to solo parenting so the kids can thrive. This victimized role he is going to place himself in is going to cause him to want revenge on you in some way shape or form. However, there is one area where we are different and that has to do with communication. Its crucial to retain your dignity and self-worth in your exs eyes when he or she says you arent good enough. One of the most asked questions I get from coaching clients is to explain the reasoning behind a man who doesnt contact you during the no contact period. Here is what a failing attitude looks like: I am so depressed he hasnt called me my life revolves around him blah, blah, blah.. Does your ex boyfriend even need to contact you during NC for you to be able to get him back? Thats because youll rationally discern that your ex wasnt a bad person and that you wouldnt mind getting back with your ex. What I should do? He hasnt texted me though, and I want to get him back. I think too many women are conditioned by society to think that making the first move on a guy is wrong. Personally, I think men like this arent very good in relationships. People typically talk about defriending as a way to express their hurt . Should You Go No Contact With Your Situationship? Technically this guy is not an ex.. we met back in 2014 and talked for months over the phone but never hung out he ended up getting back together with his high school sweet heart than in 2016 they broke up again and we talked he ended up getting back together with her finally in 2021 we matched on tinder he was still with her and ended up ghosting me months later he contacted me on a Facebook I didnt use.. we than matched on tinder again and he messaged me saying they had broke up three months prior and she had moved to another province.. My ex boyfriend broke up with me two months after we moved in together after an argument. Before I say anything else I just want to throw that out there. My boyfriend ended our 5 and a half year relationship by saying he wasnt happy. Maybe they're feeling a little salty about how well. Remaining in contact with yo. Shall I give up or can I tell him I am here? None of us can help people who cant help themselvesesp with emotional stuff. I sent another 2 long stupid messages saying Ill be there for her I care for her, lets take the chance of our life, i see her and her daughter both together so Id not treat her daughter any different even though she isnt mine as she was worried about that too, the thing is after 2 months she even told her daughter I was her bf which I thought was a big step!! The breakup is here to teach you a lesson. If he contacts me then he contacts me. If your ex chose to do so, let her. Seriously, they will sit around and cry because he didn't call or text. She got a lot of things going on with her life and she sometimes put me the very least of her priorities. However, the no contact rule also uses something else as equally powerful as silence to its advantage, the power of ignoring. It was the day before New Years Eve. Why does she feel like shes more of a babysitter to you?? If you were to have the attitude that I described above, the entitlement attitude, then the chances are high that nothing will get done. I did the begging and pleading, appealed that i put so much effort for us and for her. I contacted some close friends to talk to him but he said he wants nothing to do with me. People struggling with this will even ask their friends what they think is going on with the ex and if they think that the ex can be gotten back. After we split within two weeks he started dating someone else who he is still with. 3. So what do you say when your ex contacts you during no contact (or after no contact)? In so doing, you would only anger them, destroying your chances forever/longer. One example is that she is fond of writing (novels, short story etc). What we are going to be getting into now is the actual ignoring part. Hes gone abroad so I am implementing the no contact for the week hes away. I mean, yeah, I do love her. I walked away not because I dont love her (till now i really do) but its because I wanted her to focus on the things that she wants in life. My Ex Won't Leave Me Alone! What did you do then? We are 1 week into the no contact contract and its killing me I often ask if he misses me, if its really over I really want to know your opinion I have read almost every article about break ups and how to get together with my ex. But you shes right, you cant do that until you figure yourself out. I have been also working out and focusing on myself because I know its important. When I wanted to work things out he tried but then later retracted and said that the distance wouldnt work out for us since he had moved back to California and I stayed in Oregon. Always leave it to your ex to contact you again. Didnt even explain why he ended it, The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back, The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide), What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means, Heres Exactly What Hes Thinking During The No Contact Rule, What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You. Thanks for your time. How To Forget About Your Ex And Be Happy Again? She said that she doesnt know how to make you happy and that she feels that she just makes you mad. When a guy dumps you, you lose your power in the relationship. January 15, 2023 12:57pm. Well, today we are going to be tackling one of the most asked questions when it comes to the no contact rule. Your ex won't forget about you during no contact To start with a little bit of hope to cling to, rest assured that dumpers don't just forget dumpees. How else can you meet other interesting and more beautiful girls if you're hanging on the memory of an indecisive girl. If he does, hell let you know. Don't answer his messages, don't visit his social media profiles, remove him from your fb feed so you don't receive the daily updates. He said I deserve better and cannot wait. 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